The well has done gone dry
Oct. 13th, 2007 05:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookishwenchI'm trying to do this stupid Nancy Drew tea that I'm actually performing in a WEEK and I've hit a complete brick wall... cement block, even. Hence, to get the creative juices going, I shall meme. Stolen from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
saraste_impi...
Make a list of all the characters in your icons. (Although you may have more than one icon of a single character, they only go on the list once.) Alphabetize it. Take the first two people on the list; that's your first pairing. Second two people; second pairing. Etc.
Then write your reaction to each pairing (or a snippet of a hypothetical fic featuring each pairing).
Agamemnon x Angelus
I think they'd enjoy killing people together, though Angelus would get bored eventually, kill Agamemnon, toy with Clytemnestra for a while, then kill her, and finally find Cassandra, be reminded weirdly of Dru, and sire her.
Animal x Anne of Green Gables
"My, you're a pretty looking animal! Why, your colors remind me of a dream I had once about a sunset and a fairy princess whose duty it was to shepherd the red and gold clouds across the sky at dusk. Dusk is a lovely word, isn't it?"
"WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! HA! HA! WOMAN!"
"Goodness! Gilbert never does that! Oh, my!"
Anya x Beaker the Muppet
Hmmm...
"Do you have money?"
"Mee mee meeeee!"
"You seem highly centered on yourself, what with all the 'me me'-ing. I'm guessing you wouldn't be good in bed for that reason."
"MEEE!"
"There's no reason too get so defensive."
Bert x Boober Fraggle
Ladies and gentlemen, Ernie has competition!
"I'm worried."
"Me too."
"I'm worried about germs attacking me in the night."
"I'm worried about dancing sheep attacking me in the night."
"That's an odd worry."
"It's happened."
"No! Really!"
"Really."
"I could give you my Fraggle pebble to hold. It helps me deal with the trials and stress of laundry."
"Aww, you're swell."
Book x Chava from Fiddler on the Roof.
Uh... they'd probably have a nice discussion on the Old Testament for a few minutes, then Chava would start dancing and singing about matchmakers and Book would consider putting her with the Triumph settlers.
Cordelia x Darla
Angel's women get fed up and decide to date each other, in large part because they're so dang pretty. Well, dang, that actually sounds like a fic, and you know Cordy would make a great vamp.
Draco x Dru
Been there, done that Forbidden Fruit. They work quite nicely together, especially with Draco's resemblance to Spike.
Ernie x Faith
Well, she could use a few nice laughs in her life.
"Ernie?"
"Yup, Faith?"
"Okay, I can handle the whole detachable nose thing, and the singing about your rubber duck in the shower, and even the drum kit, but, dude, you have GOT to get the sheep out of the bed. I mean, I'm pretty open minded, but that's way beyond my kink, got me?"
::insert Ernie laugh::
Fyedka from Fiddler on the Roof x Giles
Uh... Fyedka's basically there just to give Chava a reason to run off, so I suppose he'd try to lure Giles away from the new Slayers, but Giles just won't do that.
Gobo Fraggle x Hermie the elf from Rudolph
"Gosh, are you from outer space?"
"I don't think so. Do you have teeth?"
"Nah. Eh, you're small enough to be a Fraggle. Want to come down to Fraggle Rock?"
"I'm sorry, but I have to follow my heart and learn to be a dentist!"
"Okay, well, good luck with that, eh?"
Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's x Hurley
"Dude, you're, like, seriously skinny. But pretty! Really, really pretty!"
"That's very kind of you. Do you happen to have a tremendous amount of money, by any chance?"
"Uh... yeah, actually."
"You're simply marvelous!"
Yeah, they'd do well.
Inara x Jareth (from Labyrinth)
Wow. Why am I thinking this would be an incredibly interesting couple to at least look at? Both highly polished, suave, used to getting what they want and often by their wiles, massive wardrobes, and yet fatally flawed when it comes to whom they love. Jareth would undoubtedly be accepted as a client, Inara would be swept off her feet, quite literally, for several days worth of frollicking in Louis XVI-era bedrooms, followed by becoming a back-up dancer at the masked ball and wondering who the teenage girl in the enormous dress is.
Jayne x Jefferson Smith (from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington)
They would not be able to understand one another at all on any level whatsoever. Then Jayne would mug Jeff for his wallet and possibly his hat.
Jen x Kira
Well, finally an actual canon couple. I will now go on record as saying that Jen, while endearing, is essentially a putz, while without Kira the movie would end with the Skeksis wiping out all life on Thra. That said, ain't they cute together?
Lorne x Mal
"Sing for me, oh Tight-panted one!"
"You sly?"
"That a problem, Captain Hot-Hips?"
"Not really, just sayin. You might like Simon over yonder."
"HEY!"
"Sorry, Kaylie, but really, there ain't even an actual closet on this ship."
Mayor Richard Wilkins III x Mokie Fraggle
"Say, now, aren't you a cute little thing!"
"Why, thank you! And you're a cute big thing!"
"Gosh, I feel awful that this spell calls for the still beating heart of a Fraggle. Oh well!OW! LET GO! She bit my finger! Get her, Finch!"
Yeah, that wouldn't end well.
Mr. Gordo x Orry Maine from North and South
"Madeline married an abusive freak and won't sleep with me!"
Don't worry, Bow-wearing Boy. I will sleep with you at night and snuggle you.
"I've got a bum leg!"
I am sorry you have an ouchie, Bow-wearing Boy.
"I have unrelieved UST with my best friend for over twenty years!"
What a yuesstee? It sounds bad.
You know, maybe Orry could have used Mr. Gordo.
Paris from Troy x Puppet!Angel
"My girlfriend's husband is going to kill me! WAAAAAH!"
"Quit hugging me or I'll kill you!"
"My puppet wants to kill me! WAAAAAAH!"
"Oh shut up and go be pretty somewhere. I have to go kick Achilles ass."
Yeah, that wouldn't go well.
Red Fraggle x River Tam
"Behold! I am going to do a triple flip, halftwist, loop-de-loop dive into the swimming hole!"
"That is most impressive for a small creature. I shall do the same!"
"Whoa! Too cool. Hey, wanna go annoy the Gorgs and get some radishes?"
"Sure. Radishes are high in antioxidants. Also, Junior is an idiot."
These two would wind up good friends, but I don't see romance blooming.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer x Sarah from Labyrinth
"My nose glows!"
"Awww, that's okay. We've already got a hobbit..."
"HOGGLE!"
"Sorry, Hoggle, a red-orange shaggy monster (not Animal), and a fox riding an English sheepdog. You'll fit right in!"
"Really! You're all misfits too?"
"Yeah, actually. Want to go help me rescue my baby brother from the Goblin King?"
"Sure! I'll light the way! Or better yet, hop on my back and I'll fly you to the castle in the center of the labyrinth!"
Dude, we've got a new Rankin-Bass special in the making.
Simon Tam x SkekUng the Garthim Master
Uh... do I have to do this to Simon? Okay...
"You are not a Gelfling?"
"No. Not a Gelfling."
::SkekUng looks at Simon with ickily amorous intent::
::Simon blasts the heck out of him with a laser gun::
::somewhere far across the fields of Thra, a Mystic falls down dead::
::Simon grabs the rope Kaylee had dropped through the hole in the crystal chamber, ties it around the crystal, gives the rope two quick yanks, and the whole dang thing get pulled up into Serenity, the booty of their latest heist, leaving the Skeksis and the Gelflings staring up at it, wondering what the hell they're supposed to do now::
Principal Snyder x Spike
"NO! I've been emasculated, chipped, beaten, burned, incinerated, killed THREE TIME, had my girlfriend taken away, been captured by the government and put up with Darla for over twenty years. I will NOT sleep with Snyder!"
"You know you want me..."
"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU CRETIN!"
"Now, now. I'm what would have happened to William had you stayed human a couple more decades."
"GAHH! MELTHA! GET ME OUT OF HERE! NOW! PLEASE!"
Okay, baby, no more for you. Here endeth the ficlet.
Tara x Madame de Tourvel (from Dangerous Liaisons)
Actually, I can see this working very well. Tourvel is very repressed and unhappy in her marriage, along comes Tara, the two hit it off, and before you can say "femslash," Valmont gets left out in the cold with Azolan for company.
Uncle Travelin' Matt (from Fraggle Rock) x Valmont (from Dangerous Liaisons)
"Why, hello there, Silly Creature!"
::Valmont sniffs disdainfully::
"Do you have a cold?"
"No. I am merely allergic to imbeciles."
"What are imbeciles? I'm new to Outer Space, and I'd like to write my Nephew Gobo all about your culture."
"An imbecile is you. As for the culture of this place, all you need to know is that power is everything, love is an illusion to be played like a harp to get what you want, sex is my favorite hobby, and the most dangerous thing one can do is underestimate an enemy."
"So... the meaning of life isn't singing and dancing and having fun with your friends?"
"I have no friends."
"Aww, that must make you sad. Would you like a hug?"
::stares at Fraggle::
"I must have drunk very, very bad Merlot. Azolan? Step on the talking rat and throw it on the dung heap, please."
Wash x Wembley Fraggle
They're the SAME EXACT PERSON! They'd probably just borrow each other's Hawaiian shirts and trade jokes about plastic dinosaurs and Gorgs. Oh, and Wash would help Wembley chill out a little, too.
Poor Zoe wound up by herself, so I'll go back to the beginning and have...
Zoe x Agamemnon
Zoe would kill him. Then have a beer. Then become friends with Clytemnestra, who would wind up on board Serenity working as a Bounty Hunter and eventually sleeping with Jayne, who would at the very least not sacrifice any of their children for a decent wind.
saraste_impi...Make a list of all the characters in your icons. (Although you may have more than one icon of a single character, they only go on the list once.) Alphabetize it. Take the first two people on the list; that's your first pairing. Second two people; second pairing. Etc.
Then write your reaction to each pairing (or a snippet of a hypothetical fic featuring each pairing).
Agamemnon x Angelus
I think they'd enjoy killing people together, though Angelus would get bored eventually, kill Agamemnon, toy with Clytemnestra for a while, then kill her, and finally find Cassandra, be reminded weirdly of Dru, and sire her.
Animal x Anne of Green Gables
"My, you're a pretty looking animal! Why, your colors remind me of a dream I had once about a sunset and a fairy princess whose duty it was to shepherd the red and gold clouds across the sky at dusk. Dusk is a lovely word, isn't it?"
"WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! HA! HA! WOMAN!"
"Goodness! Gilbert never does that! Oh, my!"
Anya x Beaker the Muppet
Hmmm...
"Do you have money?"
"Mee mee meeeee!"
"You seem highly centered on yourself, what with all the 'me me'-ing. I'm guessing you wouldn't be good in bed for that reason."
"MEEE!"
"There's no reason too get so defensive."
Bert x Boober Fraggle
Ladies and gentlemen, Ernie has competition!
"I'm worried."
"Me too."
"I'm worried about germs attacking me in the night."
"I'm worried about dancing sheep attacking me in the night."
"That's an odd worry."
"It's happened."
"No! Really!"
"Really."
"I could give you my Fraggle pebble to hold. It helps me deal with the trials and stress of laundry."
"Aww, you're swell."
Book x Chava from Fiddler on the Roof.
Uh... they'd probably have a nice discussion on the Old Testament for a few minutes, then Chava would start dancing and singing about matchmakers and Book would consider putting her with the Triumph settlers.
Cordelia x Darla
Angel's women get fed up and decide to date each other, in large part because they're so dang pretty. Well, dang, that actually sounds like a fic, and you know Cordy would make a great vamp.
Draco x Dru
Been there, done that Forbidden Fruit. They work quite nicely together, especially with Draco's resemblance to Spike.
Ernie x Faith
Well, she could use a few nice laughs in her life.
"Ernie?"
"Yup, Faith?"
"Okay, I can handle the whole detachable nose thing, and the singing about your rubber duck in the shower, and even the drum kit, but, dude, you have GOT to get the sheep out of the bed. I mean, I'm pretty open minded, but that's way beyond my kink, got me?"
::insert Ernie laugh::
Fyedka from Fiddler on the Roof x Giles
Uh... Fyedka's basically there just to give Chava a reason to run off, so I suppose he'd try to lure Giles away from the new Slayers, but Giles just won't do that.
Gobo Fraggle x Hermie the elf from Rudolph
"Gosh, are you from outer space?"
"I don't think so. Do you have teeth?"
"Nah. Eh, you're small enough to be a Fraggle. Want to come down to Fraggle Rock?"
"I'm sorry, but I have to follow my heart and learn to be a dentist!"
"Okay, well, good luck with that, eh?"
Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's x Hurley
"Dude, you're, like, seriously skinny. But pretty! Really, really pretty!"
"That's very kind of you. Do you happen to have a tremendous amount of money, by any chance?"
"Uh... yeah, actually."
"You're simply marvelous!"
Yeah, they'd do well.
Inara x Jareth (from Labyrinth)
Wow. Why am I thinking this would be an incredibly interesting couple to at least look at? Both highly polished, suave, used to getting what they want and often by their wiles, massive wardrobes, and yet fatally flawed when it comes to whom they love. Jareth would undoubtedly be accepted as a client, Inara would be swept off her feet, quite literally, for several days worth of frollicking in Louis XVI-era bedrooms, followed by becoming a back-up dancer at the masked ball and wondering who the teenage girl in the enormous dress is.
Jayne x Jefferson Smith (from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington)
They would not be able to understand one another at all on any level whatsoever. Then Jayne would mug Jeff for his wallet and possibly his hat.
Jen x Kira
Well, finally an actual canon couple. I will now go on record as saying that Jen, while endearing, is essentially a putz, while without Kira the movie would end with the Skeksis wiping out all life on Thra. That said, ain't they cute together?
Lorne x Mal
"Sing for me, oh Tight-panted one!"
"You sly?"
"That a problem, Captain Hot-Hips?"
"Not really, just sayin. You might like Simon over yonder."
"HEY!"
"Sorry, Kaylie, but really, there ain't even an actual closet on this ship."
Mayor Richard Wilkins III x Mokie Fraggle
"Say, now, aren't you a cute little thing!"
"Why, thank you! And you're a cute big thing!"
"Gosh, I feel awful that this spell calls for the still beating heart of a Fraggle. Oh well!OW! LET GO! She bit my finger! Get her, Finch!"
Yeah, that wouldn't end well.
Mr. Gordo x Orry Maine from North and South
"Madeline married an abusive freak and won't sleep with me!"
Don't worry, Bow-wearing Boy. I will sleep with you at night and snuggle you.
"I've got a bum leg!"
I am sorry you have an ouchie, Bow-wearing Boy.
"I have unrelieved UST with my best friend for over twenty years!"
What a yuesstee? It sounds bad.
You know, maybe Orry could have used Mr. Gordo.
Paris from Troy x Puppet!Angel
"My girlfriend's husband is going to kill me! WAAAAAH!"
"Quit hugging me or I'll kill you!"
"My puppet wants to kill me! WAAAAAAH!"
"Oh shut up and go be pretty somewhere. I have to go kick Achilles ass."
Yeah, that wouldn't go well.
Red Fraggle x River Tam
"Behold! I am going to do a triple flip, halftwist, loop-de-loop dive into the swimming hole!"
"That is most impressive for a small creature. I shall do the same!"
"Whoa! Too cool. Hey, wanna go annoy the Gorgs and get some radishes?"
"Sure. Radishes are high in antioxidants. Also, Junior is an idiot."
These two would wind up good friends, but I don't see romance blooming.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer x Sarah from Labyrinth
"My nose glows!"
"Awww, that's okay. We've already got a hobbit..."
"HOGGLE!"
"Sorry, Hoggle, a red-orange shaggy monster (not Animal), and a fox riding an English sheepdog. You'll fit right in!"
"Really! You're all misfits too?"
"Yeah, actually. Want to go help me rescue my baby brother from the Goblin King?"
"Sure! I'll light the way! Or better yet, hop on my back and I'll fly you to the castle in the center of the labyrinth!"
Dude, we've got a new Rankin-Bass special in the making.
Simon Tam x SkekUng the Garthim Master
Uh... do I have to do this to Simon? Okay...
"You are not a Gelfling?"
"No. Not a Gelfling."
::SkekUng looks at Simon with ickily amorous intent::
::Simon blasts the heck out of him with a laser gun::
::somewhere far across the fields of Thra, a Mystic falls down dead::
::Simon grabs the rope Kaylee had dropped through the hole in the crystal chamber, ties it around the crystal, gives the rope two quick yanks, and the whole dang thing get pulled up into Serenity, the booty of their latest heist, leaving the Skeksis and the Gelflings staring up at it, wondering what the hell they're supposed to do now::
Principal Snyder x Spike
"NO! I've been emasculated, chipped, beaten, burned, incinerated, killed THREE TIME, had my girlfriend taken away, been captured by the government and put up with Darla for over twenty years. I will NOT sleep with Snyder!"
"You know you want me..."
"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU CRETIN!"
"Now, now. I'm what would have happened to William had you stayed human a couple more decades."
"GAHH! MELTHA! GET ME OUT OF HERE! NOW! PLEASE!"
Okay, baby, no more for you. Here endeth the ficlet.
Tara x Madame de Tourvel (from Dangerous Liaisons)
Actually, I can see this working very well. Tourvel is very repressed and unhappy in her marriage, along comes Tara, the two hit it off, and before you can say "femslash," Valmont gets left out in the cold with Azolan for company.
Uncle Travelin' Matt (from Fraggle Rock) x Valmont (from Dangerous Liaisons)
"Why, hello there, Silly Creature!"
::Valmont sniffs disdainfully::
"Do you have a cold?"
"No. I am merely allergic to imbeciles."
"What are imbeciles? I'm new to Outer Space, and I'd like to write my Nephew Gobo all about your culture."
"An imbecile is you. As for the culture of this place, all you need to know is that power is everything, love is an illusion to be played like a harp to get what you want, sex is my favorite hobby, and the most dangerous thing one can do is underestimate an enemy."
"So... the meaning of life isn't singing and dancing and having fun with your friends?"
"I have no friends."
"Aww, that must make you sad. Would you like a hug?"
::stares at Fraggle::
"I must have drunk very, very bad Merlot. Azolan? Step on the talking rat and throw it on the dung heap, please."
Wash x Wembley Fraggle
They're the SAME EXACT PERSON! They'd probably just borrow each other's Hawaiian shirts and trade jokes about plastic dinosaurs and Gorgs. Oh, and Wash would help Wembley chill out a little, too.
Poor Zoe wound up by herself, so I'll go back to the beginning and have...
Zoe x Agamemnon
Zoe would kill him. Then have a beer. Then become friends with Clytemnestra, who would wind up on board Serenity working as a Bounty Hunter and eventually sleeping with Jayne, who would at the very least not sacrifice any of their children for a decent wind.
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Date: 2007-10-13 10:23 pm (UTC)And Spike/Snyder!!!! Poor Spike!!!! That would have to be a torture fic *falls of chair laughing*
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Date: 2007-10-16 02:06 pm (UTC)I had one prof who proclaimed LotR to be the greatest literary achievement of the 20th century. :)
Thanks! I got some weird pairings in this, but I think Paris/Puppet!Angel might just be my favorite for the visual alone. :)