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bookishwenchContinued from here.
“Gerta began to cry, and the prince and princess comforted her and asked her to explain her story, and she told them everything,” Hermione said.
“You know, that’s a remarkably compassionate response to being roused out of a sound sleep by someone you’ve never met before leaning over you while looking for someone else,” Harry said.
“Yeah,” Ron said, “I didn’t take it that well when Sirius did it to me. Granted, he was holding a bloody great knife at the time and trying to kill somebody as opposed to, you know, looking for his childhood playmate who ran away.”
“Actually, he sort of was looking for his childhood playmate who ran away,” Harry said with a frown.
“Huh,” Ron said, then shrugged. “Okay, well, Gerta didn’t have a knife at any rate.”
“No,” Hermione said, “but the prince and princess were very kind and sympathetic towards her, and while they told the ravens they should never do anything like that again, they also offered them permanent positions as palace pets.”
“Permanent positions as palace pets?” Ron said.
“Yes,” Hermione said, “with a daily allotment of broken pastries from the kitchen.”
“Palace pets with permanent positions and pastries,” Ron said. “Were they practically peripatetically pickled with pure pleasure?”
Hermione grinned.
“Perhaps,” she said mischievously. “In any case, the prince and princess obviously didn’t know where Kai was, but they let Gerta stay with them for several days, and they said they would be content to have her live with them in the palace forever. But when at last she said she simply must continue her quest to find Kai, they gave her a beautiful dress of silk and velvet and a pair of lovely shoes as well as a coach of solid gold with the royal insignia on it and a driver and footmen and soldiers along with all sorts of food and candy, wishing her luck in her travels.”
“Blimey,” Ron said, looking impressed. “Okay, they’re a bit of alright, I guess. Generous at any rate. Also, I notice old Hans got her a pair of shoes again, obsessed thing that he is.”
“Little golden slippers,” Hermione said, “along with a coat and muff and gloves, for she was heading north and the days were growing very cold.”
“So off Gerta goes, riding away in her coach,” Harry said. “I’m guessing this doesn’t end well.”
“You’d be right,” Hermione said. “The ravens, now newly married, accompanied her in the coach, and they rode off with their whole retinue into the forest. However, it wasn’t long before they reached a wild, dangerous country filled with bands of robbers.”
“I’m guessing a solid gold coach probably wasn’t going to pass without comment,” Ron said.
“Quite,” Hermione said. “Out of nowhere, the coach and its escort were beset by an ambush. The ravens flew away, but the driver, footmen, and soldiers were all killed.”
“Whoa, okay, wasn’t quite expecting that much violence all at once,” Ron said, looking surprised.
“It’s a bit of a digression in tone from the rest of the text, I grant you, but the concept of armed marauders overtaking a royal coach for the purposes of kidnap and theft actually wouldn’t have been too far-fetched in some of the more remote areas of Europe during the setting of the story,” Hermione said.
“Did you actually use the word ‘marauders’ in a sentence that didn’t involve Harry’s dad and friends?” Ron asked.
“I suppose so,” Hermione said. “It’s an appropriate term under the circumstances, though I admit the connotation of the word is a bit charged in our personal environment, so it may not have been the best choice in retrospect.”
Ron just stared her for a moment before blurting out, “Did you actually read the entire dictionary at some point?”
Hermione blinked.
“What an odd thing to ask,” she said, and Harry noticed that was not a denial. “The robbers pulled Gerta from the coach believing they had taken the princess and intending to hold her for ransom, but they were disappointed when they realized she was only dressed finely but not the princess at all. At once they decided the best thing to do would be to kill her, but there was another little girl, a robber’s daughter, and she threw a fit and carried on, biting her mother and screaming loudly, saying she wanted to have someone to play with, and she made such a fuss that the robbers gave in and made a present of Gerta to her.”
“Well, that’s… I want to use the word ‘lucky,’ but I’m not quite sure about that,” Harry said.
“Yeah, it’s nice to get saved and all, but she seems a bit frightening,” Ron said.
“The robbers rode off with the coach, and the robber girl got in beside Gerta. ‘You shall give me your coat and dress and muff and shoes, and you shall sleep beside me at night and we shall play together, and so long as I am not displeased with you, no one will kill you,’ the girl said,” Hermione explained.
“Forget the ‘a bit.’ She’s plain terrifying,” Ron said, his mouth dropping open. “And what’s with her taking her clothes and making her sleep next to her?”
“Oh, it probably isn’t supposed to be read as a lesbian metaphor directly, though the subconscious subtext is difficult to ignore. Siblings and friends often slept in the same bed back then, and the robber girl gives Gerta another set of clothing in place of the dress and things because of course they were all highly valuable, and whatever else she is, she’s a robber after all,” Hermione said.
“Okay,” Ron said, still looking distinctly uncomfortable. “Well, fine. So what happens then?”
“Eventually the carriage pulled up to the destroyed home the gang used as a base, and the robber girl pulled Gerta toward her own bed where she introduced her to her pets,” Hermione said.
“Now that’s a bit more friendly,” Ron said, smiling. “Pajama party and puppies.”
“She had several dozen pigeons that roosted on the walls, which were sleeping when they came in, but she grabbed several of them and shook them fiercely because she liked to see them flap their wings. ‘Kiss it!’ she ordered Gerta, who complied by kissing the pigeons,” Hermione said.
“Okay, less like a pajama party, more like a scene out of St. Mungo’s closed ward,” Harry said. “Those things are basically just filthy flying rats.”
“That remains to be seen. She also had a reindeer named Bac who wore a copper ring around his neck, and him she loved most of all,” Hermione said.
“A pet reindeer? How far north are they?” Ron asked.
“A fair way,” Hermione said.
“It doesn’t fly by any chance, does it?” Ron asked.
“No, it’s not one of Father Christmas’s reindeer,” Hermione said, “though the robber girl did say they had to tether him with a rope so we wouldn’t escape. She would play with him every night by tickling his neck with her knife, which frightened him and made her laugh.”
Ron and Harry stared at each other in silence for a while.
“Anybody else picturing Bellatrix as a kid?” Ron asked, voice trembling a little.
“Considering the robber girl is described as having dark hair and eyes, it’s not that far from an accurate representation, perhaps,” Hermione said with a shrug. “Still, she had Gerta explain her story, and she listened closely to her as she talked of Kai and her struggles and her desire to find her friend. When Gerta had finished, she nodded and said that if she was telling the truth, she would help her.”
“I’m not sure I’m thrilled with that prospect,” Ron said.
“Just at that moment, two of the pigeons cooed loudly that they had seen little Kai in their wanderings,” Hermione said.
“There’s a bit of luck,” Harry said.
“I hope they turn out to be a bit more accurate than the raven,” Ron chimed in.
“They saw Kai being carried away in the sleigh of the Snow Queen, who had stopped and blown on the nest full of pigeons that they had been born in, and all but those two had died from the bitter cold of her breath,” Hermione said.
“Okay, now I feel a bit bad about the whole filthy-flying-rats comment,” Harry said. “That’s just cruel.”
“It terrified little Gerta too, of course,” Hermione said. “The pigeons said they believed she had gone to Lapland, where it is always cold, and the reindeer, who came from there, said that he too had heard of the Snow Queen and believed her palace was near the North Pole on the island of Spitzbergen, but her summer home was in Lapland.”
“So the reindeer did come from the North Pole!” Ron said triumphantly.
“Well, not exactly. Spitzbergen, or Spitsbergen as it’s spelled now, is a real island that’s north of Norway, and a lot of it is made up of national parks now,” Hermione said. “In reality it’s still quite a ways to the North Pole from there, though.”
“Whatever,” Ron said. “I still think ‘On Dasher, on Dancer, on Bac, on Blitzen,’ has a nice ring to it.”
“Clement Moore?” Hermione said, looking at him curiously. “You’ve been reading Muggle Christmas poetry?”
“Oh, come on, everybody knows that one,” Ron said waving his hand. “Even the Malfoys probably made an exception for it.”
“It’s weird the things that cross cultures,” Harry said. “When did you stop believing in Father Christmas, anyway?”
“Stop believing?” Ron said, looking confused. “I don’t get it. He’s a Gryffindor. Muggleborn, if I remember correctly. Right?”
“Yes, he is,” Hermione said, nodding and taking in Harry’s stunned expression. “Oh, I was more than a little surprised, too.”
“Seriously?” Harry asked, eyes enormous.
“Apparently so,” Hermione said. “He doesn’t get out much anymore, though, as he’s getting on a bit, although I think he carried on correspondence with Dumbledore. Anyway, back to the story. The robber girl said she would sleep on the idea to see what she could plan, and that if Gerta woke her or annoyed her, there would be no need to plan for she always slept with her knife in case of emergencies and she would kill Gerta herself before anyone else could.”
Ron looked thoughtful for a moment.
“I’m feeling oddly sorry for the robber girl,” he said slowly.
“You did catch that she just threatened to knife Gerta,” Harry said with a laugh.
“Yeah, but still, can’t really be much of a happy life, can it? Sleeping with a knife to stay safe as a kid, living with a gang that kills people for fun. When she said she wanted Gerta for a playmate, she really wasn’t kidding, was she? She sounds lonely,” he said, looking uncomfortable.
“She also sounds homicidal and slightly psychopathic,” Harry said, “but yeah, probably a bit lonely as well. Not a great childhood, at any rate.”
“I suppose so,” Hermione said, considering. “I’d never really considered her that way before. Well, the next morning, Gerta woke to the robber girl saying she had a plan. The girl’s mother, who was an ugly old creature who also had a remarkably long beard that made her look like a goat, always started to drink about mid-morning and passed out soon after, so Gerta could make her escape then.”
“Yow,” Ron said. “This child really does have problems.”
“Yes, apparently,” Hermione said. “She said she would let Gerta ride on Bac, who would carry her back to Lapland where he had originally come from. She tied Gerta on so she wouldn’t fall off, and gave her a pair of her mother’s old gloves and long woolen leggings, though the robber girl kept the muff because it was pretty. Then she gave her some food for the journey and sent her on her way.”
“So she loses her friend and the pet reindeer because she did the right thing and helped the girl escape,” Ron said. “Okay, now I’m sad.”
“Well, so was Gerta, for she cried when she left, and it made the robber girl stamp her feet and say that she really should be happy instead, so she was alright with the situation, I suppose,” Hermione said, “but yes, it is a remarkably selfless thing to do, well, except for the muff. In any case, the reindeer took off at top speed, heading towards the northern lights to guide him home.”
“That’s a nice little image,” Harry said.
“Weirdly, in the story it says the lights made a noise like someone sneezing in order to call him onward, which I always found rather odd,” Hermione said.
“Sneezing northern lights,” Ron said, raising his eyebrow. “What was this Anderson fellow on again?”
“Oh, probably some variation of opium like half the people in the 1800s,” Hermione said. “Anyway, the reindeer ran onwards for days, and the food the robber girl had given Gerta had completely run out before at last they came to the home of a Lapland woman, which was a little mound that barely poked above the turf for it was underground.”
“Why would they live underground?” Ron asked.
“It’s warmer that way,” Hermione said.
“Then why isn’t the Slytherin Common Room toasty?” Ron asked. “When Harry and I went there second year, it was damp and cold.”
“Yes, well, I think the Slytherin dormitory is actually under the lake, which might explain it,” Hermione said.
“Oh,” Ron said. “I suppose that makes sense.”
“Gerta had gone unconscious by this time, and the reindeer told the Lapland woman his story first, which he considered far more important, and then added Gerta’s as an afterthought. Immediately, the woman took both the reindeer and the girl into her home, letting them warm up and giving them something to eat,” Hermione said.
“Wait, what was the reindeer’s story?” Ron asked.
“I suppose about his capture by the robbers and being the girl’s pet, then his escape with Gerta and running for several days to bring them their,” Hermione said.
“That beats talking flowers and ravens, memory erasure, a friend kidnapped by the Snow Queen, breaking and entering a castle, and an attack on an armed carriage by a bunch of thieves who killed a load of people?” Ron asked incredulously.
“Everyone tends to think their own story is the most important, I suppose,” Hermione said.
“Maybe,” Harry said, looking wistfully at the window in the tent and wondering if Ginny and Neville and Luna and the others at Hogwarts were having a more productive time of it than they were.
“They stayed with the Lapland woman only very briefly, for they still had far to go, and she gave them a message to give to a woman in Finland, which she wrote on the skin of a fish,” Hermione said.
“Nice stationery,” Ron said. “Still, she’s a decent sort. Mum would like her.”
“Once again, the reindeer and Gerta rode off together until they came to the hut of the Finnish woman, who took them in when she read the note on the fish skin, which she then ate,” Hermione said.
“I suppose that’s environmentally responsible, at any rate,” Harry said with a grimace.
“The reindeer begged the woman to help them, for she had the gift of being able to tie up the wind for sailors so that they might go as they pleased, even unleashing a hurricane if need be, but the woman said that was unnecessary,” Hermione said.
“Wait, is she a witch?” Ron asked.
“She very well might be, though it seems she specializes in some form of climate-based magic that Hogwarts has never really covered,” Hermione said. “It wasn’t an unheard of charm then, though, for women to try to control the wind by tying a series of knots to keep it from blowing or untying them to create a greater wind. I’m not really sure if the theory behind it is sound, and it may well be just a folk belief rather than genuine magic, but it’s fairly well documented.”
“Tying knots keeps the wind from blowing?” Ron said. “Seems a bit thin on reality.”
“While we point sticks at things instead and think nothing of it,” Hermione said.
“Well, yeah,” Ron said as though this were the most obvious thing in the world. “That’s only logical.”
“If you say so,” Hermione said. “At any rate, the Finnish woman said that Gerta already had power of her own, and she would need every bit of it because Kai was perfectly happy where he was in large part due to a splinter of glass in his eye and in his heart, which would need to be removed before he would consent to go home.”
“I almost forgot about that bit,” Ron said. “How’d she know that?”
“She just knew,” Hermione said. “She said that the Snow Queen’s gardens began only two miles away and that there was no time to lose. The reindeer must set Gerta down by the bushes with red berries that bordered the queen’s domain and wait there for her. At once, she put Gerta on the reindeer’s back and he ran at once, though she had left behind her gloves and her shoes.”
“Is this the second or the third time in this story the poor kid winds up shoeless?” Ron asked.
“I believe it’s the third,” Hermione said, “and she did suffer quite horribly from the bitter ice and snow with her bare feet.”
“Does anyone else suddenly feel like putting on an extra pair of socks?” Harry asked.
Ron and Hermione both raised their hands in agreement.
“By now, they had reached the bushes, and Gerta knew that she must go on alone,” Hermione said.
“Why?” Ron asked.
“I don’t know. That’s just the way these things are done, I suppose, and the poor reindeer really had done his bit already. Gerta saw the Snow Queen’s enormous palace far in the distance and began to walk towards it, barefoot in the freezing snow, when suddenly she was surrounded by enormous snowflakes that instead of falling from the sky swooped towards her, glowing like the aurora borealis but terrifyingly powerful.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Ron said. “The Snow Queen has attack-snowflakes.”
“Wonderful, now I’m thinking of dear old Fluffy,” Harry said.
“Whatever happened to him, anyway?” Ron asked.
“I don’t know, though knowing Hagrid he’s probably romping playfully somewhere while causing massive amounts of mayhem,” Hermione said.
“Forbidden Forest is my guess,” Harry said. “He’d fit right in with the skrewts.”
“Just as long as they don’t interbreed,” Ron said with a shudder. “Giant, three headed, stinging, flaming crabs that can wag their tails? Hagrid would have a dozen as pets.”
Hermione and Harry looked at each other in horror as they realized Ron was probably completely right.
“Well, going back to something marginally less likely to give me nightmares for the next three years running, the monstrous snowflakes began to take on the forms of animals as they came closer to Gerta: gigantic porcupines, hideous interwoven snakes, and bears with their fur standing all on end,” Hermione said.
“Wait, a bunch of glowing white animals are attacking her?” Harry said.
“Essentially, though they’re made of snow,” Hermione said.
“No, they’re not, though they might look like it,” Harry said seriously. “They’re patronuses.”
Hermione’s eyes grew wide at that while Ron nodded thoughtfully.
“It sure sounds like a bunch of them, but if only the Snow Queen is there, who’s making them all?” Ron asked. “Hey, is it possible for someone to conjure more than one patronus?”
“I don’t know,” Harry said. “Usually one’s enough to get just about any job done. Have you ever heard of it happening, Hermione?”
“No,” Hermione said, “but I suppose theoretically speaking if a person were able to center on more than one happy memory at a time, it might be possible, but it would take an extremely strong wizard. Even Merlin’s recorded as having only one patronus.”
“But if this Snow Queen is as strong as the story says, then maybe it is possible?” Ron asked.
“Maybe,” Hermione said. “Oh, now this is going to bother me! I wish I’d thought to bring Wulfric Murkington III’s Assessment of Patronus-Based Magic in Australia. He might mention something in the appendices, though they are a bit wordy even for my taste. Still, I probably could have gotten it into my bag if I’d only rearranged the medical supplies, but I was planning to do that the day after the wedding.”
“Hermione, I’m disappointed in you. How could you possibly miss packing good old Forkington?” Ron said, rolling his eyes.
“Murkington,” she corrected him automatically.
“Whatever,” Ron said, “I doubt it’s going to be that crucial to the fate of the world. So how does the Muggle girl surrounded by angry patronuses – wait, is it patroni?”
“Technically both are correct,” Hermione said.
“Okay, how does she escape? Or considering this is Anderson, does she not and get eaten starting with her sore feet?” Ron asked.
“The story says that she said the Lord’s Prayer, and when the steam came out of her mouth, it formed itself into angels armed with spears and lances who defeated the snow animals,” Hermione said.
“So… she conjured multiple patronuses too,” Ron said. “Can a Muggle do that?”
“I don’t know,” Hermione said. “I’d say no, but then perhaps Gerta is actually a Muggleborn witch. If that’s the case, small children have been known to perform automatic magic under certain circumstances, including peril to life and limb, so it’s not entirely without precedent.”
“Like when Neville got dropped out the second floor window as a tyke and bounced away unhurt,” Ron said. “That kid’s family really does have issues.”
“Do you think so?” Hermione said sarcastically, wrinkling her nose in dislike.
“His grandmother might be better intentioned than the Dursleys, but if it weren’t for magic, I’m guessing they’d get along together pretty well,” Harry said. “She is one intimidating witch.”
“Or something that sounds extremely similar to that,” Ron muttered under his breath. Harry was grateful that Hermione feigned deafness.
“Well, you might also like to know that the angels patted Gerta’s hands and feet so that they became less cold,” Hermione said.
“About time,” Ron said, folding his arms indignantly.
“Then she ran towards the palace of the Snow Queen, which was all of ice,” Hermione said. “Meanwhile, Kai had been trying to solve a riddle.”
“All this time?” Harry asked.
“The Snow Queen had promised him the whole world and a new sled if he could solve it, but so far he could come up with nothing at all,” Hermione said.
“The whole world and a new sled?” Ron said. “If he got the whole world, wouldn’t he be legally entitled to pretty much all of the sleds in it?”
“I suppose so, but that was the wording of the agreement,” Hermione said. “Kai had indeed forgotten all about Gerta and the grandmother and his home, and everything at all before the Snow Queen. The shattered remains of the horrible mirror and worked their way deep inside his heart and his eye so that nothing he saw was pure or good anymore, except for the Snow Queen’s beauty. He played with pieces of ice to form a puzzle, and the answer to the puzzle would win him the world and the sled. The Snow Queen was not in residence at the time, for she had gone south to tip the mountaintops with snow, but if he had managed to solve the puzzle by the time he got back, he would win.”
“Wait, so if the Snow Queen wasn’t even there, who conjured the porcupines and snakes and bears and things?” Ron asked.
“Maybe it was some sort of guard alarm?” Hermione suggested. “I suppose it could be possible to trigger the spell remotely, though I admit it’s far-fetched.”
“This is really complicated,” Ron said. “Okay, so what was the kid trying to make out of the puzzle?”
“Eternity,” Hermione said.
“Uh… how?” Ron asked.
“He had to spell the word using the ice, but he couldn’t do it,” Hermione said. “He could make all sorts of other words and patterns and pictures that seemed very beautiful and important to him, but eternity was something he simply couldn’t grasp since his heart had turned to ice within him, and he had gone blue with cold though he felt nothing.”
“He’s blue?” Ron said.
“In the story, yes, he’s entirely blue and not moving at all,” Hermione said. “It isn’t really clear whether the Snow Queen is killing him or trying to turn him into some sort of creature like herself, heartless and built of ice.”
“But Gerta doesn’t let that happen,” Harry said.
“No, just then, Gerta ran into the great hall of the palace where Kai sat. The walls were made of sheets of snow, and the windows and doors were icy wind, and the length of the hall was so great that Kai appeared only as a tiny dot on the other side. But Gerta knew him at once and ran to him, weeping for joy and calling his name,” Hermione said.
“And?” Ron and Harry said.
“And nothing,” Hermione said. “Kai just continued to stare at the ice, not moving or even looking at the girl who had traveled so far and through so much danger to save him.”
“Oh, come on!” Ron wailed. “Tell me that’s not the end of the story!”
“No, but Gerta was so hurt that she began to cry in earnest, and she wrapped her arms around him, begging him to remember,” Hermione said. “Her tears fell upon his eyes, and they washed away the splinter of mirror there, and they fell upon his chest and penetrated to his heart, removing the one that was there as well and melting the ice to flesh again.”
“This is like that turnip-head girl’s tears that cured blindness,” Ron said.
“Yes, I suppose you could draw a parallel between the healing properties of Rapunzel’s tears and Gerta’s ability to remove evil with hers,” Hermione said thoughtfully. “Granted, the first one is a slightly more pseudo-scientific explanation while Gerta is Anderson’s way of pitting faith and imagination and love against pure science and reason, so there are dissimilarities present as well, but the efficacy of emotion on suffering does seem to be an underlying theme for both tropes.”
“Uh huh,” Ron said. “Them tropes will get you every time. So what happened after Gerta couldn’t find a tissue?”
“Kai came back to himself, recognized her, and said over and over how cold and bleak it was there. She took his hand and they ran back across the hall and out of the palace, and melted into the ice on the floor behind them was the word ‘eternity,’ so Kai had won,” Hermione said.
“I think that’s probably some form of cheating, but I’ll let it pass,” Ron said.
“The two of them returned to the berry bush where the reindeer was waiting along with another reindeer, who gave them fresh milk, and they rode south again, stopping at the home of the Finnish woman, who gave them food, and the Lapland woman, who gave them new clothes and fixed Kai’s sled,” Hermione said. “The reindeer stayed in Lapland, for that had been his home before he was captured by the robber gang.”
“Did the poor kid finally get some shoes?” Ron asked.
“I’m going to assume yes,” Hermione said.
“Until Anderson has them spontaneously combust during a plague of locusts or something,” Ron said.
“Or while she’s walking over burning sand,” Harry added.
“Hey, why not both?” Ron said.
Hermione rolled her eyes but shrugged.
“Anyway, as they came to the edge of the forest, who should Gerta see but a horse that had once pulled her golden coach, and riding on it was the robber girl, who had decided to go forth and seek her fortune. They greeted each other as old friends, and the girl looked Kai up and down and asked if he were really worth walking the whole world over to save, but Gerta only smiled and asked how the prince and princess were,” Hermione said.
“Tactful,” Ron said.
“It turned out that they had gone abroad, and the raven had since died and his wife was now a widow and wore a black crepe band on her leg in mourning,” Hermione said.
“That’s pointlessly depressing,” Ron said.
“You know, it really is,” Hermione said. “I never understood why that detail was in the story, but it always is. I suppose it’s to underscore the presence of death, but it doesn’t serve much of a purpose really. Anyway, the robber maid wanted to hear all about their journey, and Gerta and Kai told her all of their adventures. When they were through, the robber maid said ‘Schnipp-schnapp-schnurre-basselurre,’ and promised to visit them should she ever come to the town where they lived, then set off again.”
“Schnipp-schnapp-schnurre-basselurre?” Ron repeated in disbelief.
“It’s a nonsense phrase of some kind,” Hermione said. “Apparently it has something to do with a Danish nursery rhyme, but the robber maid uses it to sort of sum up her view of their adventures before moving on.”
“Well, at least she seems to be turning out okay,” Ron said. “Hopefully she doesn’t go kill somebody in the next town over or start raiding petrol stations or something.”
“One may hope,” Hermione said. “As Gerta and Kai traveled south, the spring began to arrive with its green leaves and flowers and birdsong, until finally they crossed the threshold of their old home at last. The grandmother stood at the stove, reading her Bible, and the clock ticked on the wall as it always had, and as they sat once more in the chairs where they had sat as children, they realized they were now grown-ups, though always children in heart. The dreary magnificence of the Snow Queen’s palace melted from their memories, replaced by the beautiful roses of their rooftop garden, and it was summer once more, within and without.”
“And that’s the end?” Ron asked.
“Yes,” Hermione said, crossing her arms. “Well?”
“Okay, so when you say the memory of the palace melted away, do they not remember any of that?” Ron asked.
“I’m not sure,” Hermione said.
“Because if not, I can’t believe the grandmother isn’t going to whack them right over the head and want to know where they’ve been for the last year or so, and if they don’t have any kind of answer, they’re going to wind up in a right lot of trouble,” Ron said.
“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “I mean, wouldn’t the whole town think they’re dead?”
“And they just come waltzing in, hand-in-hand, mooning about over the roses and sitting in chairs that are too small, but nobody bothers to notice?” Ron said.
“Alright, well, I suppose it could just mean that the palace was replaced by the roses, which were better than anything the Snow Queen could offer,” Hermione said, casting around for an acceptable answer.
“Yes, their wonderful old deathtrap of a hanging garden on the roof,” Ron said. “I still say somebody is going to fall off that one of these days. There’s no way that would pass a building inspection.”
“It’s supposed to symbolize home and happiness and love being better than palaces and riches with no heart,” Hermione said. “I think we could all do with a bit of the former about now.”
“Well, we could sure do with less snow, at any rate,” Ron said.
“If you hadn’t noticed, the snow stopped about a quarter of an hour ago,” Hermione said.
Ron and Harry both stared at the ceiling and listened. They were stunned to realize she was right: the wind had stopped, and no pelting blasts of frozen snow were pattering on the canvas anymore.
“That really was a long one,” Ron said.
“Yes, we really should be getting to bed,” Hermione agreed. “Morning will be here soon.”
Harry nodded. It was nice to think of home, wherever that might be when all this was over, and the possibility that someday happiness would return, that they would see their friends and families again, that somewhere right now they might even be thinking of them, as well. Maybe by the time the roses were blooming in Professor Sprout’s greenhouses, this would all be nothing but a cold, bleak memory. He hoped so.
“Good night, then,” Hermione said as they all climbed into their bed, and the lights went out.
It was quiet for a moment, and Harry was nearly asleep when he heard Ron whisper something.
“You really did read the dictionary, didn’t you,” he said.
A long pause stretched out, and Harry thought Hermione might be about to throw a pillow at him when he heard her whisper back, “I was ten and it was the only book available at the time.”
Harry and Ron both laughed, and then, though Harry could never figure out how she did it, Hermione did indeed successfully chuck a pillow at both of them simultaneously before rolling over and going to sleep.
“Gerta began to cry, and the prince and princess comforted her and asked her to explain her story, and she told them everything,” Hermione said.
“You know, that’s a remarkably compassionate response to being roused out of a sound sleep by someone you’ve never met before leaning over you while looking for someone else,” Harry said.
“Yeah,” Ron said, “I didn’t take it that well when Sirius did it to me. Granted, he was holding a bloody great knife at the time and trying to kill somebody as opposed to, you know, looking for his childhood playmate who ran away.”
“Actually, he sort of was looking for his childhood playmate who ran away,” Harry said with a frown.
“Huh,” Ron said, then shrugged. “Okay, well, Gerta didn’t have a knife at any rate.”
“No,” Hermione said, “but the prince and princess were very kind and sympathetic towards her, and while they told the ravens they should never do anything like that again, they also offered them permanent positions as palace pets.”
“Permanent positions as palace pets?” Ron said.
“Yes,” Hermione said, “with a daily allotment of broken pastries from the kitchen.”
“Palace pets with permanent positions and pastries,” Ron said. “Were they practically peripatetically pickled with pure pleasure?”
Hermione grinned.
“Perhaps,” she said mischievously. “In any case, the prince and princess obviously didn’t know where Kai was, but they let Gerta stay with them for several days, and they said they would be content to have her live with them in the palace forever. But when at last she said she simply must continue her quest to find Kai, they gave her a beautiful dress of silk and velvet and a pair of lovely shoes as well as a coach of solid gold with the royal insignia on it and a driver and footmen and soldiers along with all sorts of food and candy, wishing her luck in her travels.”
“Blimey,” Ron said, looking impressed. “Okay, they’re a bit of alright, I guess. Generous at any rate. Also, I notice old Hans got her a pair of shoes again, obsessed thing that he is.”
“Little golden slippers,” Hermione said, “along with a coat and muff and gloves, for she was heading north and the days were growing very cold.”
“So off Gerta goes, riding away in her coach,” Harry said. “I’m guessing this doesn’t end well.”
“You’d be right,” Hermione said. “The ravens, now newly married, accompanied her in the coach, and they rode off with their whole retinue into the forest. However, it wasn’t long before they reached a wild, dangerous country filled with bands of robbers.”
“I’m guessing a solid gold coach probably wasn’t going to pass without comment,” Ron said.
“Quite,” Hermione said. “Out of nowhere, the coach and its escort were beset by an ambush. The ravens flew away, but the driver, footmen, and soldiers were all killed.”
“Whoa, okay, wasn’t quite expecting that much violence all at once,” Ron said, looking surprised.
“It’s a bit of a digression in tone from the rest of the text, I grant you, but the concept of armed marauders overtaking a royal coach for the purposes of kidnap and theft actually wouldn’t have been too far-fetched in some of the more remote areas of Europe during the setting of the story,” Hermione said.
“Did you actually use the word ‘marauders’ in a sentence that didn’t involve Harry’s dad and friends?” Ron asked.
“I suppose so,” Hermione said. “It’s an appropriate term under the circumstances, though I admit the connotation of the word is a bit charged in our personal environment, so it may not have been the best choice in retrospect.”
Ron just stared her for a moment before blurting out, “Did you actually read the entire dictionary at some point?”
Hermione blinked.
“What an odd thing to ask,” she said, and Harry noticed that was not a denial. “The robbers pulled Gerta from the coach believing they had taken the princess and intending to hold her for ransom, but they were disappointed when they realized she was only dressed finely but not the princess at all. At once they decided the best thing to do would be to kill her, but there was another little girl, a robber’s daughter, and she threw a fit and carried on, biting her mother and screaming loudly, saying she wanted to have someone to play with, and she made such a fuss that the robbers gave in and made a present of Gerta to her.”
“Well, that’s… I want to use the word ‘lucky,’ but I’m not quite sure about that,” Harry said.
“Yeah, it’s nice to get saved and all, but she seems a bit frightening,” Ron said.
“The robbers rode off with the coach, and the robber girl got in beside Gerta. ‘You shall give me your coat and dress and muff and shoes, and you shall sleep beside me at night and we shall play together, and so long as I am not displeased with you, no one will kill you,’ the girl said,” Hermione explained.
“Forget the ‘a bit.’ She’s plain terrifying,” Ron said, his mouth dropping open. “And what’s with her taking her clothes and making her sleep next to her?”
“Oh, it probably isn’t supposed to be read as a lesbian metaphor directly, though the subconscious subtext is difficult to ignore. Siblings and friends often slept in the same bed back then, and the robber girl gives Gerta another set of clothing in place of the dress and things because of course they were all highly valuable, and whatever else she is, she’s a robber after all,” Hermione said.
“Okay,” Ron said, still looking distinctly uncomfortable. “Well, fine. So what happens then?”
“Eventually the carriage pulled up to the destroyed home the gang used as a base, and the robber girl pulled Gerta toward her own bed where she introduced her to her pets,” Hermione said.
“Now that’s a bit more friendly,” Ron said, smiling. “Pajama party and puppies.”
“She had several dozen pigeons that roosted on the walls, which were sleeping when they came in, but she grabbed several of them and shook them fiercely because she liked to see them flap their wings. ‘Kiss it!’ she ordered Gerta, who complied by kissing the pigeons,” Hermione said.
“Okay, less like a pajama party, more like a scene out of St. Mungo’s closed ward,” Harry said. “Those things are basically just filthy flying rats.”
“That remains to be seen. She also had a reindeer named Bac who wore a copper ring around his neck, and him she loved most of all,” Hermione said.
“A pet reindeer? How far north are they?” Ron asked.
“A fair way,” Hermione said.
“It doesn’t fly by any chance, does it?” Ron asked.
“No, it’s not one of Father Christmas’s reindeer,” Hermione said, “though the robber girl did say they had to tether him with a rope so we wouldn’t escape. She would play with him every night by tickling his neck with her knife, which frightened him and made her laugh.”
Ron and Harry stared at each other in silence for a while.
“Anybody else picturing Bellatrix as a kid?” Ron asked, voice trembling a little.
“Considering the robber girl is described as having dark hair and eyes, it’s not that far from an accurate representation, perhaps,” Hermione said with a shrug. “Still, she had Gerta explain her story, and she listened closely to her as she talked of Kai and her struggles and her desire to find her friend. When Gerta had finished, she nodded and said that if she was telling the truth, she would help her.”
“I’m not sure I’m thrilled with that prospect,” Ron said.
“Just at that moment, two of the pigeons cooed loudly that they had seen little Kai in their wanderings,” Hermione said.
“There’s a bit of luck,” Harry said.
“I hope they turn out to be a bit more accurate than the raven,” Ron chimed in.
“They saw Kai being carried away in the sleigh of the Snow Queen, who had stopped and blown on the nest full of pigeons that they had been born in, and all but those two had died from the bitter cold of her breath,” Hermione said.
“Okay, now I feel a bit bad about the whole filthy-flying-rats comment,” Harry said. “That’s just cruel.”
“It terrified little Gerta too, of course,” Hermione said. “The pigeons said they believed she had gone to Lapland, where it is always cold, and the reindeer, who came from there, said that he too had heard of the Snow Queen and believed her palace was near the North Pole on the island of Spitzbergen, but her summer home was in Lapland.”
“So the reindeer did come from the North Pole!” Ron said triumphantly.
“Well, not exactly. Spitzbergen, or Spitsbergen as it’s spelled now, is a real island that’s north of Norway, and a lot of it is made up of national parks now,” Hermione said. “In reality it’s still quite a ways to the North Pole from there, though.”
“Whatever,” Ron said. “I still think ‘On Dasher, on Dancer, on Bac, on Blitzen,’ has a nice ring to it.”
“Clement Moore?” Hermione said, looking at him curiously. “You’ve been reading Muggle Christmas poetry?”
“Oh, come on, everybody knows that one,” Ron said waving his hand. “Even the Malfoys probably made an exception for it.”
“It’s weird the things that cross cultures,” Harry said. “When did you stop believing in Father Christmas, anyway?”
“Stop believing?” Ron said, looking confused. “I don’t get it. He’s a Gryffindor. Muggleborn, if I remember correctly. Right?”
“Yes, he is,” Hermione said, nodding and taking in Harry’s stunned expression. “Oh, I was more than a little surprised, too.”
“Seriously?” Harry asked, eyes enormous.
“Apparently so,” Hermione said. “He doesn’t get out much anymore, though, as he’s getting on a bit, although I think he carried on correspondence with Dumbledore. Anyway, back to the story. The robber girl said she would sleep on the idea to see what she could plan, and that if Gerta woke her or annoyed her, there would be no need to plan for she always slept with her knife in case of emergencies and she would kill Gerta herself before anyone else could.”
Ron looked thoughtful for a moment.
“I’m feeling oddly sorry for the robber girl,” he said slowly.
“You did catch that she just threatened to knife Gerta,” Harry said with a laugh.
“Yeah, but still, can’t really be much of a happy life, can it? Sleeping with a knife to stay safe as a kid, living with a gang that kills people for fun. When she said she wanted Gerta for a playmate, she really wasn’t kidding, was she? She sounds lonely,” he said, looking uncomfortable.
“She also sounds homicidal and slightly psychopathic,” Harry said, “but yeah, probably a bit lonely as well. Not a great childhood, at any rate.”
“I suppose so,” Hermione said, considering. “I’d never really considered her that way before. Well, the next morning, Gerta woke to the robber girl saying she had a plan. The girl’s mother, who was an ugly old creature who also had a remarkably long beard that made her look like a goat, always started to drink about mid-morning and passed out soon after, so Gerta could make her escape then.”
“Yow,” Ron said. “This child really does have problems.”
“Yes, apparently,” Hermione said. “She said she would let Gerta ride on Bac, who would carry her back to Lapland where he had originally come from. She tied Gerta on so she wouldn’t fall off, and gave her a pair of her mother’s old gloves and long woolen leggings, though the robber girl kept the muff because it was pretty. Then she gave her some food for the journey and sent her on her way.”
“So she loses her friend and the pet reindeer because she did the right thing and helped the girl escape,” Ron said. “Okay, now I’m sad.”
“Well, so was Gerta, for she cried when she left, and it made the robber girl stamp her feet and say that she really should be happy instead, so she was alright with the situation, I suppose,” Hermione said, “but yes, it is a remarkably selfless thing to do, well, except for the muff. In any case, the reindeer took off at top speed, heading towards the northern lights to guide him home.”
“That’s a nice little image,” Harry said.
“Weirdly, in the story it says the lights made a noise like someone sneezing in order to call him onward, which I always found rather odd,” Hermione said.
“Sneezing northern lights,” Ron said, raising his eyebrow. “What was this Anderson fellow on again?”
“Oh, probably some variation of opium like half the people in the 1800s,” Hermione said. “Anyway, the reindeer ran onwards for days, and the food the robber girl had given Gerta had completely run out before at last they came to the home of a Lapland woman, which was a little mound that barely poked above the turf for it was underground.”
“Why would they live underground?” Ron asked.
“It’s warmer that way,” Hermione said.
“Then why isn’t the Slytherin Common Room toasty?” Ron asked. “When Harry and I went there second year, it was damp and cold.”
“Yes, well, I think the Slytherin dormitory is actually under the lake, which might explain it,” Hermione said.
“Oh,” Ron said. “I suppose that makes sense.”
“Gerta had gone unconscious by this time, and the reindeer told the Lapland woman his story first, which he considered far more important, and then added Gerta’s as an afterthought. Immediately, the woman took both the reindeer and the girl into her home, letting them warm up and giving them something to eat,” Hermione said.
“Wait, what was the reindeer’s story?” Ron asked.
“I suppose about his capture by the robbers and being the girl’s pet, then his escape with Gerta and running for several days to bring them their,” Hermione said.
“That beats talking flowers and ravens, memory erasure, a friend kidnapped by the Snow Queen, breaking and entering a castle, and an attack on an armed carriage by a bunch of thieves who killed a load of people?” Ron asked incredulously.
“Everyone tends to think their own story is the most important, I suppose,” Hermione said.
“Maybe,” Harry said, looking wistfully at the window in the tent and wondering if Ginny and Neville and Luna and the others at Hogwarts were having a more productive time of it than they were.
“They stayed with the Lapland woman only very briefly, for they still had far to go, and she gave them a message to give to a woman in Finland, which she wrote on the skin of a fish,” Hermione said.
“Nice stationery,” Ron said. “Still, she’s a decent sort. Mum would like her.”
“Once again, the reindeer and Gerta rode off together until they came to the hut of the Finnish woman, who took them in when she read the note on the fish skin, which she then ate,” Hermione said.
“I suppose that’s environmentally responsible, at any rate,” Harry said with a grimace.
“The reindeer begged the woman to help them, for she had the gift of being able to tie up the wind for sailors so that they might go as they pleased, even unleashing a hurricane if need be, but the woman said that was unnecessary,” Hermione said.
“Wait, is she a witch?” Ron asked.
“She very well might be, though it seems she specializes in some form of climate-based magic that Hogwarts has never really covered,” Hermione said. “It wasn’t an unheard of charm then, though, for women to try to control the wind by tying a series of knots to keep it from blowing or untying them to create a greater wind. I’m not really sure if the theory behind it is sound, and it may well be just a folk belief rather than genuine magic, but it’s fairly well documented.”
“Tying knots keeps the wind from blowing?” Ron said. “Seems a bit thin on reality.”
“While we point sticks at things instead and think nothing of it,” Hermione said.
“Well, yeah,” Ron said as though this were the most obvious thing in the world. “That’s only logical.”
“If you say so,” Hermione said. “At any rate, the Finnish woman said that Gerta already had power of her own, and she would need every bit of it because Kai was perfectly happy where he was in large part due to a splinter of glass in his eye and in his heart, which would need to be removed before he would consent to go home.”
“I almost forgot about that bit,” Ron said. “How’d she know that?”
“She just knew,” Hermione said. “She said that the Snow Queen’s gardens began only two miles away and that there was no time to lose. The reindeer must set Gerta down by the bushes with red berries that bordered the queen’s domain and wait there for her. At once, she put Gerta on the reindeer’s back and he ran at once, though she had left behind her gloves and her shoes.”
“Is this the second or the third time in this story the poor kid winds up shoeless?” Ron asked.
“I believe it’s the third,” Hermione said, “and she did suffer quite horribly from the bitter ice and snow with her bare feet.”
“Does anyone else suddenly feel like putting on an extra pair of socks?” Harry asked.
Ron and Hermione both raised their hands in agreement.
“By now, they had reached the bushes, and Gerta knew that she must go on alone,” Hermione said.
“Why?” Ron asked.
“I don’t know. That’s just the way these things are done, I suppose, and the poor reindeer really had done his bit already. Gerta saw the Snow Queen’s enormous palace far in the distance and began to walk towards it, barefoot in the freezing snow, when suddenly she was surrounded by enormous snowflakes that instead of falling from the sky swooped towards her, glowing like the aurora borealis but terrifyingly powerful.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Ron said. “The Snow Queen has attack-snowflakes.”
“Wonderful, now I’m thinking of dear old Fluffy,” Harry said.
“Whatever happened to him, anyway?” Ron asked.
“I don’t know, though knowing Hagrid he’s probably romping playfully somewhere while causing massive amounts of mayhem,” Hermione said.
“Forbidden Forest is my guess,” Harry said. “He’d fit right in with the skrewts.”
“Just as long as they don’t interbreed,” Ron said with a shudder. “Giant, three headed, stinging, flaming crabs that can wag their tails? Hagrid would have a dozen as pets.”
Hermione and Harry looked at each other in horror as they realized Ron was probably completely right.
“Well, going back to something marginally less likely to give me nightmares for the next three years running, the monstrous snowflakes began to take on the forms of animals as they came closer to Gerta: gigantic porcupines, hideous interwoven snakes, and bears with their fur standing all on end,” Hermione said.
“Wait, a bunch of glowing white animals are attacking her?” Harry said.
“Essentially, though they’re made of snow,” Hermione said.
“No, they’re not, though they might look like it,” Harry said seriously. “They’re patronuses.”
Hermione’s eyes grew wide at that while Ron nodded thoughtfully.
“It sure sounds like a bunch of them, but if only the Snow Queen is there, who’s making them all?” Ron asked. “Hey, is it possible for someone to conjure more than one patronus?”
“I don’t know,” Harry said. “Usually one’s enough to get just about any job done. Have you ever heard of it happening, Hermione?”
“No,” Hermione said, “but I suppose theoretically speaking if a person were able to center on more than one happy memory at a time, it might be possible, but it would take an extremely strong wizard. Even Merlin’s recorded as having only one patronus.”
“But if this Snow Queen is as strong as the story says, then maybe it is possible?” Ron asked.
“Maybe,” Hermione said. “Oh, now this is going to bother me! I wish I’d thought to bring Wulfric Murkington III’s Assessment of Patronus-Based Magic in Australia. He might mention something in the appendices, though they are a bit wordy even for my taste. Still, I probably could have gotten it into my bag if I’d only rearranged the medical supplies, but I was planning to do that the day after the wedding.”
“Hermione, I’m disappointed in you. How could you possibly miss packing good old Forkington?” Ron said, rolling his eyes.
“Murkington,” she corrected him automatically.
“Whatever,” Ron said, “I doubt it’s going to be that crucial to the fate of the world. So how does the Muggle girl surrounded by angry patronuses – wait, is it patroni?”
“Technically both are correct,” Hermione said.
“Okay, how does she escape? Or considering this is Anderson, does she not and get eaten starting with her sore feet?” Ron asked.
“The story says that she said the Lord’s Prayer, and when the steam came out of her mouth, it formed itself into angels armed with spears and lances who defeated the snow animals,” Hermione said.
“So… she conjured multiple patronuses too,” Ron said. “Can a Muggle do that?”
“I don’t know,” Hermione said. “I’d say no, but then perhaps Gerta is actually a Muggleborn witch. If that’s the case, small children have been known to perform automatic magic under certain circumstances, including peril to life and limb, so it’s not entirely without precedent.”
“Like when Neville got dropped out the second floor window as a tyke and bounced away unhurt,” Ron said. “That kid’s family really does have issues.”
“Do you think so?” Hermione said sarcastically, wrinkling her nose in dislike.
“His grandmother might be better intentioned than the Dursleys, but if it weren’t for magic, I’m guessing they’d get along together pretty well,” Harry said. “She is one intimidating witch.”
“Or something that sounds extremely similar to that,” Ron muttered under his breath. Harry was grateful that Hermione feigned deafness.
“Well, you might also like to know that the angels patted Gerta’s hands and feet so that they became less cold,” Hermione said.
“About time,” Ron said, folding his arms indignantly.
“Then she ran towards the palace of the Snow Queen, which was all of ice,” Hermione said. “Meanwhile, Kai had been trying to solve a riddle.”
“All this time?” Harry asked.
“The Snow Queen had promised him the whole world and a new sled if he could solve it, but so far he could come up with nothing at all,” Hermione said.
“The whole world and a new sled?” Ron said. “If he got the whole world, wouldn’t he be legally entitled to pretty much all of the sleds in it?”
“I suppose so, but that was the wording of the agreement,” Hermione said. “Kai had indeed forgotten all about Gerta and the grandmother and his home, and everything at all before the Snow Queen. The shattered remains of the horrible mirror and worked their way deep inside his heart and his eye so that nothing he saw was pure or good anymore, except for the Snow Queen’s beauty. He played with pieces of ice to form a puzzle, and the answer to the puzzle would win him the world and the sled. The Snow Queen was not in residence at the time, for she had gone south to tip the mountaintops with snow, but if he had managed to solve the puzzle by the time he got back, he would win.”
“Wait, so if the Snow Queen wasn’t even there, who conjured the porcupines and snakes and bears and things?” Ron asked.
“Maybe it was some sort of guard alarm?” Hermione suggested. “I suppose it could be possible to trigger the spell remotely, though I admit it’s far-fetched.”
“This is really complicated,” Ron said. “Okay, so what was the kid trying to make out of the puzzle?”
“Eternity,” Hermione said.
“Uh… how?” Ron asked.
“He had to spell the word using the ice, but he couldn’t do it,” Hermione said. “He could make all sorts of other words and patterns and pictures that seemed very beautiful and important to him, but eternity was something he simply couldn’t grasp since his heart had turned to ice within him, and he had gone blue with cold though he felt nothing.”
“He’s blue?” Ron said.
“In the story, yes, he’s entirely blue and not moving at all,” Hermione said. “It isn’t really clear whether the Snow Queen is killing him or trying to turn him into some sort of creature like herself, heartless and built of ice.”
“But Gerta doesn’t let that happen,” Harry said.
“No, just then, Gerta ran into the great hall of the palace where Kai sat. The walls were made of sheets of snow, and the windows and doors were icy wind, and the length of the hall was so great that Kai appeared only as a tiny dot on the other side. But Gerta knew him at once and ran to him, weeping for joy and calling his name,” Hermione said.
“And?” Ron and Harry said.
“And nothing,” Hermione said. “Kai just continued to stare at the ice, not moving or even looking at the girl who had traveled so far and through so much danger to save him.”
“Oh, come on!” Ron wailed. “Tell me that’s not the end of the story!”
“No, but Gerta was so hurt that she began to cry in earnest, and she wrapped her arms around him, begging him to remember,” Hermione said. “Her tears fell upon his eyes, and they washed away the splinter of mirror there, and they fell upon his chest and penetrated to his heart, removing the one that was there as well and melting the ice to flesh again.”
“This is like that turnip-head girl’s tears that cured blindness,” Ron said.
“Yes, I suppose you could draw a parallel between the healing properties of Rapunzel’s tears and Gerta’s ability to remove evil with hers,” Hermione said thoughtfully. “Granted, the first one is a slightly more pseudo-scientific explanation while Gerta is Anderson’s way of pitting faith and imagination and love against pure science and reason, so there are dissimilarities present as well, but the efficacy of emotion on suffering does seem to be an underlying theme for both tropes.”
“Uh huh,” Ron said. “Them tropes will get you every time. So what happened after Gerta couldn’t find a tissue?”
“Kai came back to himself, recognized her, and said over and over how cold and bleak it was there. She took his hand and they ran back across the hall and out of the palace, and melted into the ice on the floor behind them was the word ‘eternity,’ so Kai had won,” Hermione said.
“I think that’s probably some form of cheating, but I’ll let it pass,” Ron said.
“The two of them returned to the berry bush where the reindeer was waiting along with another reindeer, who gave them fresh milk, and they rode south again, stopping at the home of the Finnish woman, who gave them food, and the Lapland woman, who gave them new clothes and fixed Kai’s sled,” Hermione said. “The reindeer stayed in Lapland, for that had been his home before he was captured by the robber gang.”
“Did the poor kid finally get some shoes?” Ron asked.
“I’m going to assume yes,” Hermione said.
“Until Anderson has them spontaneously combust during a plague of locusts or something,” Ron said.
“Or while she’s walking over burning sand,” Harry added.
“Hey, why not both?” Ron said.
Hermione rolled her eyes but shrugged.
“Anyway, as they came to the edge of the forest, who should Gerta see but a horse that had once pulled her golden coach, and riding on it was the robber girl, who had decided to go forth and seek her fortune. They greeted each other as old friends, and the girl looked Kai up and down and asked if he were really worth walking the whole world over to save, but Gerta only smiled and asked how the prince and princess were,” Hermione said.
“Tactful,” Ron said.
“It turned out that they had gone abroad, and the raven had since died and his wife was now a widow and wore a black crepe band on her leg in mourning,” Hermione said.
“That’s pointlessly depressing,” Ron said.
“You know, it really is,” Hermione said. “I never understood why that detail was in the story, but it always is. I suppose it’s to underscore the presence of death, but it doesn’t serve much of a purpose really. Anyway, the robber maid wanted to hear all about their journey, and Gerta and Kai told her all of their adventures. When they were through, the robber maid said ‘Schnipp-schnapp-schnurre-basselurre,’ and promised to visit them should she ever come to the town where they lived, then set off again.”
“Schnipp-schnapp-schnurre-basselurre?” Ron repeated in disbelief.
“It’s a nonsense phrase of some kind,” Hermione said. “Apparently it has something to do with a Danish nursery rhyme, but the robber maid uses it to sort of sum up her view of their adventures before moving on.”
“Well, at least she seems to be turning out okay,” Ron said. “Hopefully she doesn’t go kill somebody in the next town over or start raiding petrol stations or something.”
“One may hope,” Hermione said. “As Gerta and Kai traveled south, the spring began to arrive with its green leaves and flowers and birdsong, until finally they crossed the threshold of their old home at last. The grandmother stood at the stove, reading her Bible, and the clock ticked on the wall as it always had, and as they sat once more in the chairs where they had sat as children, they realized they were now grown-ups, though always children in heart. The dreary magnificence of the Snow Queen’s palace melted from their memories, replaced by the beautiful roses of their rooftop garden, and it was summer once more, within and without.”
“And that’s the end?” Ron asked.
“Yes,” Hermione said, crossing her arms. “Well?”
“Okay, so when you say the memory of the palace melted away, do they not remember any of that?” Ron asked.
“I’m not sure,” Hermione said.
“Because if not, I can’t believe the grandmother isn’t going to whack them right over the head and want to know where they’ve been for the last year or so, and if they don’t have any kind of answer, they’re going to wind up in a right lot of trouble,” Ron said.
“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “I mean, wouldn’t the whole town think they’re dead?”
“And they just come waltzing in, hand-in-hand, mooning about over the roses and sitting in chairs that are too small, but nobody bothers to notice?” Ron said.
“Alright, well, I suppose it could just mean that the palace was replaced by the roses, which were better than anything the Snow Queen could offer,” Hermione said, casting around for an acceptable answer.
“Yes, their wonderful old deathtrap of a hanging garden on the roof,” Ron said. “I still say somebody is going to fall off that one of these days. There’s no way that would pass a building inspection.”
“It’s supposed to symbolize home and happiness and love being better than palaces and riches with no heart,” Hermione said. “I think we could all do with a bit of the former about now.”
“Well, we could sure do with less snow, at any rate,” Ron said.
“If you hadn’t noticed, the snow stopped about a quarter of an hour ago,” Hermione said.
Ron and Harry both stared at the ceiling and listened. They were stunned to realize she was right: the wind had stopped, and no pelting blasts of frozen snow were pattering on the canvas anymore.
“That really was a long one,” Ron said.
“Yes, we really should be getting to bed,” Hermione agreed. “Morning will be here soon.”
Harry nodded. It was nice to think of home, wherever that might be when all this was over, and the possibility that someday happiness would return, that they would see their friends and families again, that somewhere right now they might even be thinking of them, as well. Maybe by the time the roses were blooming in Professor Sprout’s greenhouses, this would all be nothing but a cold, bleak memory. He hoped so.
“Good night, then,” Hermione said as they all climbed into their bed, and the lights went out.
It was quiet for a moment, and Harry was nearly asleep when he heard Ron whisper something.
“You really did read the dictionary, didn’t you,” he said.
A long pause stretched out, and Harry thought Hermione might be about to throw a pillow at him when he heard her whisper back, “I was ten and it was the only book available at the time.”
Harry and Ron both laughed, and then, though Harry could never figure out how she did it, Hermione did indeed successfully chuck a pillow at both of them simultaneously before rolling over and going to sleep.
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Date: 2014-01-18 05:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-01-18 02:05 pm (UTC)