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Written for DreamsInPinkAndGold for Yuletide Madness 2020
The Obvious Secret
“Goodness! This is going to take quite a while to tidy up!” Queen Snow White said, looking around the empty throne room.
“Mebbe so,” Grumpy agreed, then shuddered. “This place gives me th’ cold creeps. That old queen was a bad’un, an’ no mistake.”
Three little bluebirds swooped through an open window and landed in a line in front of them twittering their agreement. A raccoon bumbled in through the door behind Grumpy, followed by a pair of deer, two rabbits, a squirrel, and an assortment of chipmunks, mice, doves, robins, and other little woodland creatures, all of whom looked ill at ease. One particularly skittish fox hid behind the heavy, dusty drapes, making them tremble.
Five years had passed since the evil queen had died and Snow White had ridden away with Prince Charming to live happily ever after. There was now a young prince in the castle as well as a tiny new princess, and Snow White knew what it meant to be safe and to be surrounded by people she loved. Her days were indeed happy ones, and her animal friends, much to the confusion of the court’s nobles, still visited her each day, delighting in playing in the halls of the castle, frolicking at the queen’s feet and making her and the rest of the royal family laugh at their hijinks. The dwarfs, too, paid visits regularly, and it wasn’t unusual to find Doc and Dopey wandering the gardens or Happy and Bashful breaking into song in the kitchens as they ate blackberry pie (never apple, for obvious reasons, though Snow White wasn’t sure whether the wish she had made on the poisoned apple hadn’t truly come to pass from the enchantment on it). Though all the dwarfs were told they were welcome at any time and to eat anything they liked, they invariably left diamonds the size of walnuts as gifts lying about. Snow White had gathered some of them and turned them into a stunning crown made to look like glittering flowers, but she wore it only on special occasions as it was rather heavy.
It was a good life, and her heart was almost at rest. Almost, but not quite. She knew that one day she would have to return to her first home, even with all the evil memories it held. Thus far, she had been able to govern the kingdom of her birth mostly through correspondence, being sure that the schools were given the best supplies, the elderly were cared for, the poor and sick looked after with kindness, and the farms had all they needed to be fruitful. However, other matters needed to be attended to, not least of which was the castle itself, vacant now for all these years and beginning to totter. Finally, Snow White knew she had to return home, but she had no intention of doing so alone.
“Grumpy, dear, would you see if there’s still a mop and bucket in the little room to the left of the doorway there?” she said, pointing towards the spot.
“I don’t git why yer intent on cleaning up on yer own, yer majesty,” Grumpy said. “Why not have the maids an’ butlers an’ such do it?”
She laughed lightly and shook her head.
“I’m not sure why myself,” she said. “I just feel like I need to help in clearing it all away. It’s like taking a bad dream and turning it into something brighter.”
“Bah,” Grumpy said, but he did as she bid him, and a mop and bucket were indeed still there.
“You’ll find a wishing well in the courtyard. Could you fill the bucket there?” she asked, and as he was going out the door, she quickly added with a smile, “Oh, but be careful if you make any wishes! They may just come true!”
“I don’t need any wishes,” Grumpy said, “unless it’s that Dopey doesn’t get his head stuck in th’ chandelier again!”
Snow White laughed again, then looked appraisingly at the throne room.
“Those heavy drapes will need to be washed and aired, so they’ll have to be taken down,” Snow White said, and immediately birds launched themselves at the curtain rings, undoing them and then carrying the drapes out the door and down to a nearby river when the deer and rabbits began washing them out and hanging them on branches to dry in the sunlight. The result was a flood of sunlight that made the room far less forbidding.
“There now! That’s better already!” she said cheerfully.
Other animals followed her directions, beating out the cushions on the throne, sweeping dead leaves from the steps leading to the dais, washing the stained-glass windows with powder puff tails until the beautiful colors returned. Snow White began to remember what the castle had looked like when she was a little girl and her father had still been alive, before he had married her step-mother, and a bittersweet smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
“Yes, much better,” she said, as much to herself as to the chipmunks who were busily polishing the banisters.
She wasn’t sure what pulled her to begin walking the corridors of the vacant castle. Perhaps it was simply to see what was there still and what had fallen into decay, but it almost felt as though something called her. Not far from what had once been the queen’s apartments, she found a small niche hidden behind purple curtains patterned in golden moons and stars. On the other side, hanging on the wall, was what appeared to be a mirror, but it held no reflection, only deepest ebony.
“What a strange thing,” Snow White said quietly, drawing a finger down its dusty glass. “A mirror that shows nothing at all! Perhaps it’s just very dirty.”
She had a rag in her hand and began to try to polish it, but to no avail. It remained dark, and something about it gave her chills.
“Well, perhaps someone can move it somewhere else,” she said, knowing it was much too heavy for her.
She turned to call one of her animal friends when she noticed an opening that nearly blended into the stonework. Curious, she walked towards it and realized it was the top of a circular stair descending into blackness.
“Oh dear,” she said. “Oh, I don’t like the look of that at all.”
“Me neither,” Grumpy said, and she jumped. She’d had no idea he was behind her. “Looks like someplace that witch woulda liked.”
Snow White nodded.
“Do you suppose we should see what’s there? It seems foolish not to know since it’s really my castle now. I wouldn’t want anything horrible to be hiding here,” Snow White said, looking uncertain. “Wouldn’t that be my responsibility?”
“Mebbe,” Grumpy said reluctantly, “but I’m comin’ with yeh.”
Snow White smiled her thanks, then they descended the stairs together.
“No, no, I really don’t like this place at all,” Snow White said as they went lower.
She was fairly certain she heard the scrabbling of rats in the walls, and while she loved almost all animals, rats made her skin crawl. When they reached the bottom, she was horrified to see human skeletons still chained to the wall.
“They must be taken down and given a decent burial at once,” Snow White said, her face filled with pity. “You don’t think they were still alive when the queen left here, do you?”
“Nah, these’ve been dead a good twenty years or more,” Grumpy said so firmly that Snow White didn’t question how he could tell. “I’ll come back with the other dwarfs and set’em to rights, don’t yeh worry.”
“Thank you,” she said, looking at them sadly.
She noticed a heavy wooden door swinging slightly on its hinges, and, steeling herself for practically anything to be behind it, she carefully opened it. Immediately, torches blazed upwards, earning a startled cry from her, and by their light she saw a great many things: books with titles like Black Magic and Alchemy, a huge cauldron filled with a mixture that had turned into sludge, skulls, vials, scrolls, and all sorts of horrible ingredients for what could only be spells. On a table lay open two books, one turned to a page that explained how to affect a peddler’s disguise, the other a recipe for a poisoned apple that caused “sleeping death.” Snow White felt faint.
“Grumpy,” she called, her voice little more than a whisper. “Oh, Grumpy!”
The dwarf burst into the room at once, fists up, ready to fight anything that might threaten her. He took in the scene and gently led her from the room.
“Grumpy, that’s where… it’s where she… oh, it’s horrible!” she said, and began to cry.
“Black magic, that’s what,” Grumpy said firmly. “D’yeh want me t’set the room on fire or something?”
“I’m not even sure that would work,” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry to be so frightened, but it feels so—so—so wrong.”
Grumpy nodded, then considering his words carefully, he said, “It’s cuz yer a good’un, and she were a bad’un.”
“I don’t understand what you mean,” Snow White said. “She was horrible, of course, and obviously a witch, too.”
“Well, mebbe so, but yeh do realize yer one too, right?” Grumpy said, hoping his words wouldn’t upset her.
“Me? A witch?” Snow White said, then laughed as she thought he must be joking, but she stopped at the serious expression on his face. “You can’t mean it, Grumpy.”
“Snow White,” he said, taking hold of her hand, “what’s goin’ on upstairs right now?”
“Oh, the forest animals are cleaning the castle,” Snow White said offhandedly.
“Yeh do realize that’s not exactly normal, right?” Grumpy said.
“It’s… it’s not?” she said, genuinely surprised.
Grumpy shook his head.
“Nope,” he said. “Neither is bein’ able to talk with ‘em.”
She looked completely confused.
“But I’ve always been able to talk to animals and have them help me,” she said.
“Yeah, and yeh’re the most beautiful girl in the whole blamed world, and when yeh were lost yeh just happened ta find the safest place around, and when yeh bit into that apple, somehow not only did the poison not kill yeh, but the wish yeh made on it came true. Not to mention we put yeh in a glass coffin with no air in it an’ yeh didn’t suffocate,” Grumpy said. “Yer a witch. A good’un! A kind’un! But a witch. I’d wager ma beard on it!”
“I… oh… that’s… Oh dear. Grumpy, may I have a glass of water, please?” she said, feeling dizzy.
“Easy there,” Grumpy said, steadying her as she sat on a three-legged stool.
At that exact moment a pair of badgers came scurrying down the circular stairs, carrying a glass of water. Grumpy shrugged, took it from them, and handed it to her.
“Thank you,” she said as the badgers went back upstairs to continue fixing the kitchen pump. “You’re certain, Grumpy?”
He looked pointedly at the retreating badgers, the glass of water, and her.
“Oh,” she said, realization dawning. “Oh. Yes. I suppose you must be right, then.”
“Don’t fret, princess,” Grumpy said. “Yer who’ve yeh’ve always been, and it don’t make yeh one lick like that’un was.”
He gestured disgustedly towards the other room. Snow White looked at the wooden door. She got to her feet, put her hand on the handle, and pulled it decidedly closed. The noise it made echoed through the castle with finality, sounding as though it could never be opened again. She nodded in satisfaction.
“You’re right, Grumpy. I’m not, and I won’t be. I don’t think that room can be destroyed, but I don’t want anyone to go in there ever again, including me. Let it rot,” she said.
Grumpy nodded his agreement, then turned around and stuck his tongue out at the door, blowing a long raspberry at it and thumbing his nose. Snow White laughed in spite of herself.
“Do you feel like having a picnic by the wishing well? Maybe some blackberry pie?” Snow White said as they went back up the stairs.
“Princess, nothin’ would please me more.”
“Goodness! This is going to take quite a while to tidy up!” Queen Snow White said, looking around the empty throne room.
“Mebbe so,” Grumpy agreed, then shuddered. “This place gives me th’ cold creeps. That old queen was a bad’un, an’ no mistake.”
Three little bluebirds swooped through an open window and landed in a line in front of them twittering their agreement. A raccoon bumbled in through the door behind Grumpy, followed by a pair of deer, two rabbits, a squirrel, and an assortment of chipmunks, mice, doves, robins, and other little woodland creatures, all of whom looked ill at ease. One particularly skittish fox hid behind the heavy, dusty drapes, making them tremble.
Five years had passed since the evil queen had died and Snow White had ridden away with Prince Charming to live happily ever after. There was now a young prince in the castle as well as a tiny new princess, and Snow White knew what it meant to be safe and to be surrounded by people she loved. Her days were indeed happy ones, and her animal friends, much to the confusion of the court’s nobles, still visited her each day, delighting in playing in the halls of the castle, frolicking at the queen’s feet and making her and the rest of the royal family laugh at their hijinks. The dwarfs, too, paid visits regularly, and it wasn’t unusual to find Doc and Dopey wandering the gardens or Happy and Bashful breaking into song in the kitchens as they ate blackberry pie (never apple, for obvious reasons, though Snow White wasn’t sure whether the wish she had made on the poisoned apple hadn’t truly come to pass from the enchantment on it). Though all the dwarfs were told they were welcome at any time and to eat anything they liked, they invariably left diamonds the size of walnuts as gifts lying about. Snow White had gathered some of them and turned them into a stunning crown made to look like glittering flowers, but she wore it only on special occasions as it was rather heavy.
It was a good life, and her heart was almost at rest. Almost, but not quite. She knew that one day she would have to return to her first home, even with all the evil memories it held. Thus far, she had been able to govern the kingdom of her birth mostly through correspondence, being sure that the schools were given the best supplies, the elderly were cared for, the poor and sick looked after with kindness, and the farms had all they needed to be fruitful. However, other matters needed to be attended to, not least of which was the castle itself, vacant now for all these years and beginning to totter. Finally, Snow White knew she had to return home, but she had no intention of doing so alone.
“Grumpy, dear, would you see if there’s still a mop and bucket in the little room to the left of the doorway there?” she said, pointing towards the spot.
“I don’t git why yer intent on cleaning up on yer own, yer majesty,” Grumpy said. “Why not have the maids an’ butlers an’ such do it?”
She laughed lightly and shook her head.
“I’m not sure why myself,” she said. “I just feel like I need to help in clearing it all away. It’s like taking a bad dream and turning it into something brighter.”
“Bah,” Grumpy said, but he did as she bid him, and a mop and bucket were indeed still there.
“You’ll find a wishing well in the courtyard. Could you fill the bucket there?” she asked, and as he was going out the door, she quickly added with a smile, “Oh, but be careful if you make any wishes! They may just come true!”
“I don’t need any wishes,” Grumpy said, “unless it’s that Dopey doesn’t get his head stuck in th’ chandelier again!”
Snow White laughed again, then looked appraisingly at the throne room.
“Those heavy drapes will need to be washed and aired, so they’ll have to be taken down,” Snow White said, and immediately birds launched themselves at the curtain rings, undoing them and then carrying the drapes out the door and down to a nearby river when the deer and rabbits began washing them out and hanging them on branches to dry in the sunlight. The result was a flood of sunlight that made the room far less forbidding.
“There now! That’s better already!” she said cheerfully.
Other animals followed her directions, beating out the cushions on the throne, sweeping dead leaves from the steps leading to the dais, washing the stained-glass windows with powder puff tails until the beautiful colors returned. Snow White began to remember what the castle had looked like when she was a little girl and her father had still been alive, before he had married her step-mother, and a bittersweet smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
“Yes, much better,” she said, as much to herself as to the chipmunks who were busily polishing the banisters.
She wasn’t sure what pulled her to begin walking the corridors of the vacant castle. Perhaps it was simply to see what was there still and what had fallen into decay, but it almost felt as though something called her. Not far from what had once been the queen’s apartments, she found a small niche hidden behind purple curtains patterned in golden moons and stars. On the other side, hanging on the wall, was what appeared to be a mirror, but it held no reflection, only deepest ebony.
“What a strange thing,” Snow White said quietly, drawing a finger down its dusty glass. “A mirror that shows nothing at all! Perhaps it’s just very dirty.”
She had a rag in her hand and began to try to polish it, but to no avail. It remained dark, and something about it gave her chills.
“Well, perhaps someone can move it somewhere else,” she said, knowing it was much too heavy for her.
She turned to call one of her animal friends when she noticed an opening that nearly blended into the stonework. Curious, she walked towards it and realized it was the top of a circular stair descending into blackness.
“Oh dear,” she said. “Oh, I don’t like the look of that at all.”
“Me neither,” Grumpy said, and she jumped. She’d had no idea he was behind her. “Looks like someplace that witch woulda liked.”
Snow White nodded.
“Do you suppose we should see what’s there? It seems foolish not to know since it’s really my castle now. I wouldn’t want anything horrible to be hiding here,” Snow White said, looking uncertain. “Wouldn’t that be my responsibility?”
“Mebbe,” Grumpy said reluctantly, “but I’m comin’ with yeh.”
Snow White smiled her thanks, then they descended the stairs together.
“No, no, I really don’t like this place at all,” Snow White said as they went lower.
She was fairly certain she heard the scrabbling of rats in the walls, and while she loved almost all animals, rats made her skin crawl. When they reached the bottom, she was horrified to see human skeletons still chained to the wall.
“They must be taken down and given a decent burial at once,” Snow White said, her face filled with pity. “You don’t think they were still alive when the queen left here, do you?”
“Nah, these’ve been dead a good twenty years or more,” Grumpy said so firmly that Snow White didn’t question how he could tell. “I’ll come back with the other dwarfs and set’em to rights, don’t yeh worry.”
“Thank you,” she said, looking at them sadly.
She noticed a heavy wooden door swinging slightly on its hinges, and, steeling herself for practically anything to be behind it, she carefully opened it. Immediately, torches blazed upwards, earning a startled cry from her, and by their light she saw a great many things: books with titles like Black Magic and Alchemy, a huge cauldron filled with a mixture that had turned into sludge, skulls, vials, scrolls, and all sorts of horrible ingredients for what could only be spells. On a table lay open two books, one turned to a page that explained how to affect a peddler’s disguise, the other a recipe for a poisoned apple that caused “sleeping death.” Snow White felt faint.
“Grumpy,” she called, her voice little more than a whisper. “Oh, Grumpy!”
The dwarf burst into the room at once, fists up, ready to fight anything that might threaten her. He took in the scene and gently led her from the room.
“Grumpy, that’s where… it’s where she… oh, it’s horrible!” she said, and began to cry.
“Black magic, that’s what,” Grumpy said firmly. “D’yeh want me t’set the room on fire or something?”
“I’m not even sure that would work,” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry to be so frightened, but it feels so—so—so wrong.”
Grumpy nodded, then considering his words carefully, he said, “It’s cuz yer a good’un, and she were a bad’un.”
“I don’t understand what you mean,” Snow White said. “She was horrible, of course, and obviously a witch, too.”
“Well, mebbe so, but yeh do realize yer one too, right?” Grumpy said, hoping his words wouldn’t upset her.
“Me? A witch?” Snow White said, then laughed as she thought he must be joking, but she stopped at the serious expression on his face. “You can’t mean it, Grumpy.”
“Snow White,” he said, taking hold of her hand, “what’s goin’ on upstairs right now?”
“Oh, the forest animals are cleaning the castle,” Snow White said offhandedly.
“Yeh do realize that’s not exactly normal, right?” Grumpy said.
“It’s… it’s not?” she said, genuinely surprised.
Grumpy shook his head.
“Nope,” he said. “Neither is bein’ able to talk with ‘em.”
She looked completely confused.
“But I’ve always been able to talk to animals and have them help me,” she said.
“Yeah, and yeh’re the most beautiful girl in the whole blamed world, and when yeh were lost yeh just happened ta find the safest place around, and when yeh bit into that apple, somehow not only did the poison not kill yeh, but the wish yeh made on it came true. Not to mention we put yeh in a glass coffin with no air in it an’ yeh didn’t suffocate,” Grumpy said. “Yer a witch. A good’un! A kind’un! But a witch. I’d wager ma beard on it!”
“I… oh… that’s… Oh dear. Grumpy, may I have a glass of water, please?” she said, feeling dizzy.
“Easy there,” Grumpy said, steadying her as she sat on a three-legged stool.
At that exact moment a pair of badgers came scurrying down the circular stairs, carrying a glass of water. Grumpy shrugged, took it from them, and handed it to her.
“Thank you,” she said as the badgers went back upstairs to continue fixing the kitchen pump. “You’re certain, Grumpy?”
He looked pointedly at the retreating badgers, the glass of water, and her.
“Oh,” she said, realization dawning. “Oh. Yes. I suppose you must be right, then.”
“Don’t fret, princess,” Grumpy said. “Yer who’ve yeh’ve always been, and it don’t make yeh one lick like that’un was.”
He gestured disgustedly towards the other room. Snow White looked at the wooden door. She got to her feet, put her hand on the handle, and pulled it decidedly closed. The noise it made echoed through the castle with finality, sounding as though it could never be opened again. She nodded in satisfaction.
“You’re right, Grumpy. I’m not, and I won’t be. I don’t think that room can be destroyed, but I don’t want anyone to go in there ever again, including me. Let it rot,” she said.
Grumpy nodded his agreement, then turned around and stuck his tongue out at the door, blowing a long raspberry at it and thumbing his nose. Snow White laughed in spite of herself.
“Do you feel like having a picnic by the wishing well? Maybe some blackberry pie?” Snow White said as they went back up the stairs.
“Princess, nothin’ would please me more.”